Listen up, folks! Our candles aren't just candles - they're the MOST INCREDIBLE, FANTASTIC candles you've ever seen. BELIEVE ME!
THE GREATEST SCENTS, MAYBE EVER
Nine TREMENDOUS scent options! So many choices, it'll make your head spin. Each one is PERFECTLY CRAFTED - no artificial garbage like those LOSER candles from China!
WINNING FEATURES (and we know about winning):

ONLY the most BEAUTIFUL eco-friendly ingredients - very clean, very green!
A GORGEOUS glass container you can KEEP FOREVER - such a deal!
Burns for 50-60 HOURS - LONGER than any other candle, that I can tell you!
Meets all those fancy ASTM safety standards - THE SAFEST!
ZERO BAD CHEMICALS - unlike the DISASTER candles from our competitors!

PERFECT FOR TREMENDOUS OCCASIONS
Whether you're having the BIGGEST Christmas party or the MOST AMAZING housewarming, these candles will have everyone talking. "Sir, where did you get these FANTASTIC candles?" They'll be saying that, believe me!
IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS (READ THEM, OKAY?)

Keep an eye on it - this candle burns HOT, like my DEALS!
Keep away from little ones and pets - we love them, don't we folks?
Don't put near things that burn - that would be a DISASTER!

 
DON'T WAIT! These are SELLING FAST! Many people are saying they're the BEST CANDLES IN THE HISTORY OF CANDLES!